I have given up so much.. I have been through a lot all to be with you, I love you..
Through the past year.. So much has happened both positive and negative for one.. ( the positive ). I met the most wonderful person ever we may not have started out perfect, I may have disliked you, disrespected you, made fun of you.. But then that one day I hung out with you And JUST you I fell in love. I fell in love with what we started to have. I wish I had met you much MUCH sooner. The negative part of all of this is that my friends betrayed me, back stabbed me, Misunderstood me, left me.. The first day I spent with him instantly my friends turned into something ugly. They started to leave slowly some left quicker than others but they started to leave. the people i thought loved me and respected me and promised to stick by me no matter who we met all left. I felt like a loser I felt like I was to blame for all of this bullshit and i believed that i was for a very long time. I felt like I've betrayed them. I didn't stop trying to talk to them,Just every time i did.. I felt the love was fading I didn't feel like they wanted to talk to me anymore because of him. I never betrayed them, I never wanted them to leave, I never did anything to make them leave. They just stopped....wanting to talk to me it seems. the only time i feel that they were happy with me was when I was upset with him&when him and I had a big fight, But the day after that they wanted nothing to do with me again.. Is it that these friends want me to be miserable and not feel love and happiness and compassion for someone that isn't them? Or did I really do something that horrible. I felt like it was a win or loose situation for several months either i stayed with him or i totally left him all together and went with them, because I felt like even if i hung out with them and was still friends with him. They would not think of me the same way I would not be " Important " to them I'd just be a Joke. I really don't know what happened in the past year these people were all very close now they all don't want to have one word with me. Sure I've changed.. I've matured. I found myself. I don't see why that is such a bad thing for someone to do.. maybe I really did do something wrong that will always be in my mind until the day I die. I will not stand to listen to people talk shit about him, I just won't and that's why I've changed so much I don't feel like I should interact with people that only want to make fun of him or tell me how much of a monster he is... I've stood up to my friends about this and I always feel like no matter what I said there was never any respect all they wanted was what they thought was right. Sure I a couple of times I was un-happy with him, But like always at the end of the day I can always say " I love you " to him and mean it.. I really wish that these friends understood my feelings a bit more. They say that I was never there for them and that they were always there for me, the thing is they NEVER spoke with me when i tried to help them, all they focused on was that I'm associated with " the monster " That's all they really cared about. So being told that I didn't listen to anything they say was bullshit. I remember when one of them said this during the fight i had with him ( He is not worth your time and pain, You can do better.. You are UN- happy he is lying to you about everything.) And I during that fight I never did believe that. when ever i was out with these people and he called me to see how i was they always told me to hang up the phone, I couldn't go into the bathroom with my OWN phone because they knew i was going to contact him and to be honest That's all i wanted to do. I wanted to make things right. I hated that fight so much. I cried a lot, on the phone with him and in front of my friends. one night.. Late at night,him and i talked on the phone and he said how much he missed me and wants me back. I said to him " I was waiting for you to say this" And then that very night. I went to his house and we watched movies together. The minute that they found out about this. they were very disappointed in me... one of my friends totally left me shortly after that because I " Lied to them about saying that I'll never go back with him". him and me had a few other small fights after this one. But it really only brought us closer together and love each other more and more.. Sure things may not be like what they used to be when we first met. But They are great, and improving and in my eyes they are perfect. I'm letting go of my past
the relationships, the friendships. The heartache. I am a new person as of right now.I am striving to reach my goals. I'm hopefully going to have a job really soon..
I was treated horrible in my younger years, I was lied to betrayed. I do not trust many people as of now. I don't know if i ever will again. but What I've learned is that stick by the ones you love.. I loved my friends dearly but they turned on me because of a boy. And since day 1 i met him.. I promised I'd stick by him no matter what, And i have. I choose him. maybe one day these people will come back into our lives But for now .. Him and i are starting a new chapter in our lives. We are going to follow that unicorn on the road to love.
This is a new chapter in my life.. I'm going to make the best of it. People really will continue to talk bad about us and try and split us up all the time, But we are strong and what we have will never die.
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