** No matter what happens I will always be your best friend**

I know the biggest fear in our friendship is us forgetting about each other. That maybe one day our friendship won't be anymore.. Please don't worry about that. nothing can ever separate us not even a boyfriend/girlfriend. our hearts will always be together and we will always cherish our great friendship.  we may have our own lives in the future.. But I know, nothing will ever stop us from being the friends we have always been.. Don't be insecure.. Nothing will ever tare me apart from you, Nobody!! If I ever do get in a relationship our friendship will always be the same and I wouldn't dare let anyone tell me differently you are too important for that. If anyone i ever became friends with or dated and they badmouthed you It would be the end of them in a heartbeat.
don't forget that ever!!!!!

** Should I make this life change?**

I have been single for many years now; And i'm now wondering If i should make a move and officially have one of my own. I had a girlfriend back in the day that I dated for 9 almost 10 Years  we started out in 5th grade, but once I moved up to where I am living now.. That relationship ended because I came out with my sexuality of being bisexual that turned her away from me. Dating her for almost 10 years  could have almost been forever, I feel like we could have been together until the very end I did love her a lot.. I loved her with all my heart and sometimes I wish that I could go back and change everything. We were known as the " Perfect couple"  we had a love so strong.  She was truly beautiful. Even though she really doesn't like me right now, She will always in my heart. Sometimes I wonder if we really would have stayed together forever, Who knows? I could have been married or engaged.. If anything I do regret everything that has happened. I almost got her back a few years ago, But again my sexuality came in the way.. thinking about this makes me want to cry. I remember everything we used to do.. between love notes everyday, writing our own journal together of letters, making stuff for each other doing anything possible to see each other.. sometimes I feel like everything was supposed to be with her, Not with a guy.. But with her. But honestly now. I feel like that will never happen now she is just a memory that will never be forgotten.
I do want to start dating again, But i am also afraid of dating again. I am afraid of being lied to and hurt again, My best friend is worried as well. and i think to myself..
Am i ready to love again? Can i be in a life long commitment with someone? Should it be with a boy or a girl? I am happy right now.. like i have said in my past two blog posts. But i think I am almost ready to start dating again, And I know through out it all I will always have my best friend there to support and love me no  matter what. And i will always do the same for him...

** ETERNAL **

"Eternal

Means forever

Our love

Will be eternal

the light in your eyes

helps me realize

everything is going to be just okay

nothing feels better than eternal

nothing can measure up to my eternal love

a love should last forever 

a love should be pure

a love should have faith
a love should always come from the heart
a sacred heart
A love should always be cherished 

a love should have no boundaries 

a love should not be selfish

a love should be self-less

love in my eyes 

is within you

a love should be 

Eternal"
 

** I love my life**

I love everything..
I love my best friend with all my heart.
i love my family
I have been able to accomplish so much in the past few years.
I passed High school with a certificate  I met new friends
I was able to re-invent myself as a better person
nothing else can compare to the love I feel right now
I was able to really find who I really am in the past few months and i must say
I am happy with what I've become I've matured a lot but i also think that has to do with not hanging around my old friends as much, instead hanging out with my 26 year old best friend. that probably makes a big difference.
Something that still upsets me a tad is not being able to finish college
But i know for sure in the future I'll be able to go back and make a great life out of it.
I haven't worked for a few months. But I know people that haven't worked for almost 3 years and they still are happy and now have a decent job and are able to make money.
I don't hate myself anymore
I  have nothing to hate myself for.
I've pushed away all the drama and bullshit and childish stuff out of my life. i just cant be involved in that high school shit anymore I'm over that. I don't want any negativity in my life. I will surround myself with positive people with positive outlooks on life that aren't jealous because I make a new friend.  nothing can compare to what is happening right now.
 and i don't think i could wish for anything else but what i have now.

** Its time to move on forward and leave the past behind**

Alright I have  come to believe that it's time to do this.. I can't keep lingering on what happened in the past I can't take out my fears that has happened in my high school years now on my future people. I was betrayed and lied and used and mind possessed by so many people but now that i am almost 21 i need to let that go. I need to realize that NOT everyone is going to fuck me over like the " Friends " I once has in the past.
I  don't know what my future holds..
But I'm hoping it's going to be a bright love fulled sucessful one.
I have a great family
and a great best friend
And hopefully I will have a great job soon
I love my life. And i always will <3

** We will never be seperated **

I will always love you through all the flaws. I will never let you down. I'll be your best friend.. I'll be a brother our friendship shall never die.. always stay pure and sacred at hearts. I love you until the end. my best friend , I will never let anything bad happen to you.

I know we have rough times and sometimes it feels too much.
Just know I love you purely and respect you.  Never will I act how i've been before. I'll always love you. I'll always have faith in you. never will you be replaced or have someone before you in my heart. You will always be number one. 
I know you don't like me talking to certain people.. I promise never to let you down and betray you let people talk bad about you.. I'll just not have that. no one can say that about the best friend that i love.
you where never a replacement of all my ex friends.. I just simply fell in love with our bond that we had and we got closer and closer. So don't think i love you just because nobody else does. my love for you is pure.
i won't talk to people that make you unhappy. and uncomfortable 
we shouldn't have to be ashamed of us.. and we shouldn't care what others think about us.. We know the truth. And it's us against the world it seems. And for me that seems pretty fine.. I hope it is the same for you also. my dear friend.


Wir werden nie getrennt sein<3
We will never be apart <3 

**Sometimes I just want to give up.... BUT I DON'T!**

Sometimes I want to give up on everything, But then sometimes I don't and I wont do that. I wont do that to my friends and family ever I would never give up on them no matter what no matter what happens I'll never give up on the people that I love the most. I don't hate anyone it's not right to hate anyone I love the people i love and nothing will ever change that!!
Never give up on your dreams;

**Being lied to/ Being used**

Being lied to is one of my biggest pet-peeves I CANT STAND LIARS!  I hate when people are your friend or supposed to be  your friend and they just lie to you all the time about everything someone shouldn't have a friend like that EVER! friendships should be about trust love and honesty not lies.  If you can't have a truthful relationship with someone because they lie then just leave them and find someone else. I feel like I've been lied to in my past life by a lot of people even sometimes my family but mostly my friends the friends i used to have in a certain place that i won't mention  but lets just say its not the place i grew up after i was brought home from Hungary  I was lied  to a lot by the people there Non of the people were really my friend-- I mean some of them where and I still talk to them now but a lot of the people were just liars that wanted to either tease me or just use me for something.. That's another thing that really agitates me when people use other people  now i KNOW that I've been used for several things by different people but guess what those people aren't my friends now I cut them off.. Never let anyone take advantage of you never let anyone walk over you. I can't stand to see people get used and they don't even see it!
I'm just glad that the friends I have now Don't use me <3

** BEING PROUD OF WHO YOU ARE**

Self-confidence, Pride, Loving yourself, knowing who you are and what you want. These are all things that people may sometimes lack. No matter what happens in someones life.. Just know that you are perfect the way you are  hold your head up high and forget the rejection, the bullying, the criticism,
Love yourself; love your friends and family and be proud of who you are  

** MEANING BEHIND MY NAME " ANDREW**

ANDREW

Gender: Masculine

Usage: English, Biblical

Pronounced: AN-droo (English)  [key]

From the Greek name Ανδρεας (Andreas), which was derived from ανηρ (aner) "man" (genitive ανδρος (andros) "of a man"). In the New Testament the apostle Andrew, the first disciple to join Jesus, was the brother of Simon Peter. According to tradition, he later preached in the Black Sea region, with some legends saying he was crucified on an X-shaped cross. Andrew, being a Greek name, was probably only a nickname or a translation of his real Hebrew name, which is not known.

This name has been common (in various spellings) throughout the Christian world, and it became very popular in the Middle Ages. Saint Andrew is regarded as the patron of Scotland, Russia, Greece and Romania. The name has been borne by three kings of Hungary, American president Andrew Jackson (1767-1845), and, more recently, English composer Andrew Lloyd Webber (1948-).


Source:
http://www.behindthename.com/name/andrew

**My Childhood**

My childhood was pretty good I must say, I was a happy kid. But what really scars me deeply is the fact that I was born with two club feet and at the age of 3 I had to have over 7 operations on each foot. My parents call me strong because through it all i never let it effect my life. Sure I my feet used to hurt when i would run or even walk but that never stopped me from pushing though. I was adopted at the age of 3 as well  I was in a orphanage in Budapest, Hungary. I still wonder what my " Real parents" are doing or who they are or even if i had any brothers or sisters!  sometimes i do really think hard about this stuff, about what my life would have been like if i was still living there and if they didn't put me up for adoption. I was brought into a very nice family that loves me a lot and I love them also.. I wonder what my life would have been like if i was still living there, If i would have ended up with no operations on  my feet or if i was going to even live.. I  used to get teased so much about my feet and the way i walk thought out my school years.. It used to really hurt me but now I just let it go. im a warrior  and I don't care  what people have to say.  I sometimes wonder if i had any of their genetics.. like health issues which really worries me because I really would like to know if my health will always stay good.   sometimes I do feel a little bit out of place in my family. I guess every adopted child has these wonders.
But i love my life.. And i love my friends and my family and i wouldn't change it one bit!

** LOVING PEOPLE FOR WHO THEY ARE**

I feel this is very important to love someone not by the way they look or their   social status, but for the person they are by heart. A lot of people in this generation base who they want to be friends with or spend the rest of their lives with as a husband or wife on how they look and if they are rich or not.  This really agitates me, because those people don't know how good a person can be even if they don't look the best they are beautiful on the inside and that's what matters the most what is inside that person I really don't know what happened with this generation of people where everything is based on looks but it's very selfish I've come to think. I feel sometimes people would date a certain person just to make THEMSELVES look better what about the person that really loves you that may not be the best looking? Did anyone ever stop to think about that?  I can't stand when people make fun of someone for not being perfect. that is what i hated most about highschool was the popular girls and boys always teasing and harassing the non-popular people. Its sickening to see and nothing changes it.. You would think that once highschool was over and people matured this would all stop; but apparently in this generation of people this attitude will stick by them forever. Lets see how far that gets them!!!

**Being afraid of the truth*

Sometimes the truth really does hurt. But when someone is a true friend and they love you; the truth is what is need to be told... who wants a lying friend?
Sometimes being told the truth is in your best interest that way you know the truth and you aren't living a life surrounded by lies.. A lot of the time the truth may really hurt someone because it's not what they expected that person to think about them.. But would't you rather have known?   to me this is a complicated topic.

**Changing yourself for people***

Change is good sometimes, but to change yourself for someone else's liking isn't. If someone doesn't accept who you are 100% Fully, Don't waste your time trying to make them happy It just makes you look foolish. I see so many people changing themselves to impress new friends or significant others and it makes me a bit upset. Because they are all beautiful people but their insecurities over power and they feel like those people don't accept them for who they are.  If you are constantly changing yourself to fit  people are not going to want to be around you.

**Dwelling on the past**

this is what a lot of people do. They dwell on past emotions and past experiences, And i understand why  some people do.. If it was a bad car accident or a death of someone that was close  etc.. Sometimes people dwell on past relationships, Which can really mess up someones life if that  relationship had negativity in it. sometimes old fights and old fears lead to new fights and old fears/new fears.. in a new relationship.  It's hard but it's best to try not to let those feelings overpower anything. If you love someone love them and have 100% faith in them. Don't let the past get in the way of your future.

**Old friends**

Sometimes It is good to talk with old friends, they are the ones that know you best especially if they are the ones that you grew up with.  If those people still talk with you now after say 7 or more years. It shows that they still care about you and enjoyed your friendship.  Sometimes Old friends don't like the changes that you've made with yourself especially if they are positive changes then those people are just not real friends. Those are the kind of people that you don't need in your life. It's good to surround yourself with positive people all the time.negative people turn you into a negative person. And nobody likes a negative person.
I guess what i'm trying to say and i hope it's clear enough is that
Love the friends you have  no matter what.

**Sometimes I feel I care too much**

the other day I was really worried about my friends relationship with his girlfriend. He was upset.. Maybe I should not have told the people that I did tell, Because now even more people are worried and it's probably a bit stressful for him now. What i'm trying to say is that  I can care but maybe i should not obsess over it.. He is quite happy with her and that is great! I hope that they both live a very happy  love filled life together hopefully nothing breaks them apart.  I will always be there for him, But  I also need to respect him and his relationship.

** MY BEST FRIEND*

my best friend is an amazing person. a day doesnt go by without being thankfull that he is in my life. nothing can compare to the friendship that we share. Our bond is something that cannot be broken. Thought all the friends i’ve had he is the best that there is.we are always there for eachother we hang out a lot and have great times together we go places eat out places go to different towns. It’s just an all together great friendship that nothing can ever compare to. I know that our love and friendship will last forever. until the very end. I love u

-Andy

**A friendship should never die**

When someone is your friend. That means they are supposed to stay in your lives for ever right? A promise to always be there no matter who you may meet boyfriends/girlfriends/new friends. But why is it that sometimes that promise may be broken? Is it because your friend may felt neglected because you have found someone a significant other.. Sometimes these things go through my mind…I feel like i have neglected some people in my life but what i also feel is that when i met this certain person.. They went the other way before I even started to hang out with him I feel like they didn’t even give him a chance to see that he’s a great guy and that we could have all been pretty good friends together… Some people have stuck by our sides and those people are the ones that will stick by our side until the very end. Friendship is a complicated thing sometimes at least I feel that way. But for now i’m happy with my life that I have. I may not have a job nor am i going to school. But I’m happy with my life, I’m going to continue to stay strong with everything and to look on the brighter side of everything..